Up #@?$ Creek Without a Diaper

Abi will be three next month. She is still.not.potty.trained. Not even a little. We have tried off and on for the past year with no success. My well-intentioned friends and family say things like, “she will when she’s ready,” “she’s not even three yet,” and “my friend’s little girl is almost four and still poops in her pants.” None of these do anything to make me feel better. Especially the last one. I don’t get it. I consider myself a fairly competent parent. My kids eat a well-balanced diet, they rarely watch tv and I would never take them to Wal-Mart in just a diaper. I have a DEGREE in teaching for Pete’s sake. Why can’t I get that girl to pee in the big white bowl!?

A previous potty training attempt. Abi
is giving her sister a toilet paper scarf.
Or a noose. Not sure which.

I’ve read some articles on potty training friggin stubborn reluctant children. This one and this one are a couple examples. The general theme is to let them run around naked from the waist down all the time except bedtime and naptime. Because if they are wearing a diaper they know they pee/poop in it. If they are naked, there’s nothing to catch it so they are more likely to go on the toilet. And you just clean up any accidents. The idea is to do this for about a week; staying in the house or the yard so you can have them sit on the potty every 15-20 minutes. They claim you can potty train a child in 3-5 days using this method. I first read about this theory six months ago. And I thought to myself, ‘surely to Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints in heaven we won’t have to resort to that. But if she’s still not potty trained by her birthday, we’ll try it.’ Well boys and girls, Abi’s birthday is in 25 days. She is still showing zero interest. She is the very last of her friends to be in diapers. And I can’t take it anymore.

So Monday morning I took her diaper off of her, told her she was a big girl now and that she could only wear a diaper at naptime and bedtime. But she could wear Big Girl Underwear if she peed in the potty. And she cried. She cried for me to put a diaper on her. I began to question myself: is she really not ready? Am I being a horrible mother right now? Am I really doing permanent and irreversible psychological damage like the random lady in Target warned me I would!? But I said a prayer for strength, channeled Michelle Duggar, Super Nanny and Erin Brokovich and remained strong. I followed “The Plan.” I stuck her on the pot every 15 minutes. And you know what happened?? After about an hour, SHE DID IT!! She was sitting on the toilet and as I walked into the kitchen I heard the most glorious sound I’ve ever heard – the tinkle tinkle of pee coming from my almost-three year old! We jumped, clapped, high fived and hugged. And then I gave her a skittle. We followed The Plan the rest of the day and she peed in the toilet four times. She also had three accidents. But I expected that. In my best calm and emotionless teacher voice I would say, “Oh, you pooped/peed on the carpet? Well poop/pee goes in the potty, not on the floor. Next time you feel like you need to poop/pee tell me and we’ll sit on the potty.” All the while in my head I’m screaming, “There’s poop on my carpet. There’s poop on my carpet. Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!!”





Never have I wished more fervently that we live in the country.
Where it is totally accepted, and normal, for kids to run around naked.



Day 2 and Day 3 went about the same. She tried every 15 minutes and was successful about four times each day. Day 2 she had three accidents again, but yesterday she only had one. I was feeling hopeful. As you can imagine, this is sort of a maddening process. You can’t leave the house. And it requires a lot of work. For about half of her accidents I think it was my fault because I got distracted and forgot to have her try. Today Abi was scheduled for a haircut at 10am. I was sooo nervous. According to The Plan, you don’t put a diaper on them even when you go out.  I had her try before we left, as soon as we got to the salon and as soon as we got back home. A kid’s haircut only takes five minutes so we weren’t even gone an hour. Success! No accidents! When we pulled in the drive pee pee pants free, I said a prayer of thanks and did a happy dance. And then she proceeded to have two accidents. Ugh.



Day 1. Big Girl Panties and her treat for a good job: a Capri Sun.



 I find myself dreaming about potty training at night. I watch the clock all day long. I am constantly trying to assess if it’s working. She still has yet to tell me on her own that she needs to pee. What does that mean!?  Is she just figuring it out still? Because obviously she is holding it 75% of the time.  Am I insane? Am I the only one? Was the Rude Target Lady right!??



So proud of her new haircut.



30 Comes Early

Adam turns The Big 3-0 in October. I knew I wanted to do something big for his big birthday. Something fun and exciting since he's slightly depressed about his milestone birthday. Ha! I debated ideas for awhile and then one day I got a Groupon email for an exotic car driving experience at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. For a lamborghini. Adam's favorite car. The car he has dreamed of driving since he was a kid. The car he thought he would never be able to drive. The perfect gift for a 30th birthday. Sold.

I wish the date had been a little closer to his actual birthday, but it actually worked out great because he was totally surprised! I wrote up some hints and put them in numbered envelopes for him to open. It was pretty funny because he had no idea what was going on.
 



For weeks he watched videos of lamborghinis and even debated for awhile about driving the Ferrari instead. The day of the drive Adam was soooo excited. It was a lot of fun just seeing him be so geared up. (pun inteded) By no means do I know anything about cars, but it was cool just to be around all the rare, and very expensive, cars. We were surrounded by Ferraris and Lamborghinis. Adam was basically drooling. When he finally got to drive, he did just as he dreamed about. He floored it and went way over 100 mph on the straight aways. He took most of the corners with tires squeeling. He was in heaven. And then he drove like a maniac the whole way home.



Signing his life away. And possibly all our life savings.
And maybe one of the girls.



waiting in line!

getting in the lambo....notice the red ferrari

  

can you believe how short these cars are!? Adam had to scrunch his head down to fit!

 


This lamborghini was not running that day because the rotars had worn down.
The guy said they would cost $15,000 to replace!!! What the what!?


Happy Birthday, Babe. You work so hard to provide for us so I can stay home. I'm so glad you're my partner in this crazy gig called parenting. And I'm proud of the life we've built together. I'll love you even when you're for real old. Not just 30 old.

Happy 1st Birthday, Madi!

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. Being pregnant with you was no picnic. But that seems like a lifetime ago. Towards the end I remember telling your dad, "I'm not sure if I can do this again." But sweetheart, the second I saw you every ache, pain, naseous day and restless night faded away. I'd do it all again. And I will, God willing. That's the miracle of motherhood.

You made up for a rough pregnancy by being the easiest baby that God ever created. You hardly ever cried. And when you did we usually just had to feed you. You were easy to nurse and weaned yourself about three weeks ago. Thanks for that. Most of the time you were content to just lay or sit and be entertained by the circus that is our home. You smiled early and haven't stopped since. You smile at strangers and make their day. You smile at me and remind me why we sacrifice so I can spend my days with you. You smile at your dad when he gets home and make him forget all the stress of his day. You love to play and laugh. Being tickled and chased make you cackle uncontrollably. And I'm pretty sure that deep belly laugh of yours could solve most of the world's problems.

From birth you've been "healthy" as your Papaw calls you. Always in the upper 90th percentile or off the chart. It's sometimes a challenge to keep your belly full. And you grow out of clothes faster than I can get the tubs down from the attic. Everybody loves a chubby baby and you are no exception. This has earned you a variety of affectionate nicknames: King Kong, Big Hoss, Tub-a-Lub, Fatty Madi, Chubbers and Thunder Thighs. Now that you're a year old your dad says we have to stop calling you these hilarious names so they don't stick. He's probably right.

You are only a year old, but already you are loved by many. You have a long list of aunts, uncles, honorary aunt and uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends that would spoil you rotten if we let them. You have the biggest, most beautiful blue eyes. People are always commenting on how pretty your eyes are. I believe those baby blues of yours may have the boys lining up at the door in about 15 years. Don't worry. The gun owners on the above mentioned list (and there are a lot of them) will surely scare them away and embarass you immensely.

It makes me so sad that you're technically not a baby anymore. I wish I could make the days go slower, but I can't. So I'll just try to cherish these days with you. Even though all you do these days is rip up my check book, sneak up the stairs 56 times a day, empty my cabinets and chew on electrical cords. You are one of our greatest blessings. And fill our lives with so much joy. Just like your name. Happy Birthday, Madelyn Joy.

Love,
Mommy (and Daddy)

    



ripping up a catalog. a borrowed catalog.



Glory Days

Ahhh...here we are in our Glory Days. No kids, no husbands, no jobs, no toilets to clean and no mortgages. Only trying to stay awake during class, pretending to study and good times in between. Ok, so college isn't really THAT easy. But it seems that way now.



The top picture is our first John Mayer concert ever. Circa 2002.
Freshman in college and oh so proud of our newly acquired independence.
Exidenced by the fact that we are all wearing college sweatshirts! HA!!

 Back in the day, concerts were our thang. We saved our pennies (quarters were for laundry) to buy the tickets and counted down the days on the dry erase boards on our dorm room doors. We were totally awesome. Last weekend was my first concert since I've been pregnant with Abi. Almost four years. It's shameful really. But if you have children, you probably understand. Especially if you had two kids in two years like I did. It was only fitting that it was John Mayer with all my favorite ladies. We sat in the lawn at Klipsch. And let me just say....for the first time....I felt old. While we were waiting for John, we spent most of the time commenting on the fashion choices of the twenty-year olds around us. And that's how you know you're getting old. When the current fashions don't make sense to you anymore.

But anywho, we had a great time together as we always do. And John put on a good show as he always does. Although, I was slightly disappointed he didn't play more of his older stuff. (Another sign I'm old) I love my BSU girls! Chirp Chirp!!

Life Lessons from a 2 Year Old

God has given us a very wise two year old. It's probably not just her. I'm sure it's just the same innocence and wonder that every child is born with before life and growing up get in the way. But because she's mine, it seems special.

Pretty much every morning Abi has toast with peanut butter for breakfast. Sometimes, if she's not too grumpy when she first wakes up, she likes to stand in the kitchen and wait for her toast to pop up. Judging by her excitement and anticipation, you would think she was waiting for the space shuttle to launch. And when the toast finally does pop up, she jumps and squeels with joy. Over toast. And one morning earlier this week I stood and watched her in awe. I don't remember when I stopped finding the joy in little things like toast popping up. But now I find myself trying to do just that.

The weather this week has been beautiful (which I stopped to appreciate the beauty and joy in). We've been playing outside a lot and going for walks. Usually when we walk Abi wants to push any combination of babies and stuffed animals in her stroller while I pull Madi in the wagon with Jack on the leash. Sometimes I get so aggravated with her because she is constantly stopping in front of me or slowing down. Until she said, "Mommy, look! It's an ant's house!" (an ant hill) I hadn't even noticed we were walking over a collection of ant hills. "Yes, you're right, that's an ant hill. Let's keep walking," I said. Then she hits me with, "Mommy, did God makes those ants?" And I realized that we are walking by God's beautiful creations every day and not even noticing. Talk about shame. So we stopped and watched the ants go in and out of the ant hill for a long time. I won't say I still don't get frustrated when she is constantly stopping during what will most likely be my only exercise for the day. But I do try to be patient enough to let her be curious about the beautiful world God created for us. 

This morning we had a couple errands to run. So I just threw on a hat over my unwashed hair, looked in the mirror and prayed we wouldn't see anyone we know while we were out. Especially someone I knew from teaching so they wouldn't think 'you left your career as a professional educator to spend your days getting your oil changed and not showering!?' I come downstairs and Abi says, "You look beautiful, Mommy!" Something she has never said on her own without Adam prompting her to first. My heart melted. She was right. Ok, no. I'm certainly not going to win any beauty contests today. But I'm spending the day with her and to her, that makes me beautiful. Way to put my priorities in order kiddo.





The reasons I never have to time shower, and the reasons my heart overflows with happiness



Birthday Bonanza

A few weeks ago we were invited to two kid's birthday parties...on the same day. We spent a fun day eating lots of cake (and the most delicious Belize potato puff things made by Lu's mom!), visiting with friends and going to bed early that night. Shew, partying is tiring. Although not in the same way it was 10 years ago.

First up was Kiyomi's Princess Party at KidsCommons. Then Finn had a Moustache and Bowtie Party for his first birthday that evening. We are so incredibly blessed by the friendships in our small church group. And even more blessed that our girls love all their kids.



Abi and the birthday girl! Isn't that balloon princess amazing!?





Adam took full advantage of, quite possibly, the only moustache he'll ever
be able to grow. And I just love Madi's Hitler moustache!





First Birthday cake smashes have to be one of the funniest things ever.
And Finn did not disappoint! That boy was all business when it came to eating his cake.
He's almost exacly one month older than Madi and I always get a kick out
of those two being total chubs together.



Cincinnati Zoo Trip

We wanted to have one last fun day as a family before Adam went back to school and our life became total chaos again. So we decided to spend a day at the Cincinnati Zoo. It was cloudy and rainy most of the way there and we were pretty nervous. What if we get all the way there and it's pouring down rain!? Should we go to the aquarium instead!? (Don't you just love when your biggest quandry for the day is whether to go to the zoo or the aquarium? Those are the best days.) We remained hopeful and The Big Guy came through. It stopped raining pretty much as we were getting out of the car. Which was great because we didn't get wet but it was enough to scare away the crowds.

The Cincinnati Zoo is so awesome. There is sooo much to see. We were there from 11am-3pm and still could have seen more. But the girls were wiped out (and so were we) so we called it quits before anyone had a major meltdown. It was a great way to end our already awesome summer.



entertainment while Adam bought the tickets





petting a savannah monitor



feeding a giraffe a cracker



"Mommy, look! There's Simba and Nala!"





I managed to squeeze in a terrified smile while keeping an eye on the devil birds.





fish gazing (notice madi who never wants to be left out)





Hands down, Abi's favorite part of the day. Some
incredibly intelligent person had the brilliant idea to let kids
brush the goats in the petting zoo area. All the kids were in love
with these goats. Abi made sure she brushed each one several times
and would have stayed here for hours. Seriously, how can brushing a
smelly goat be that much fun!?



County Fairs

I always look forward to the fair. Mostly because of the Pie Contests. I was feeling the pressure this year since I was the Grand Champ last year. But alas, it was not my year. I worked for months to perfect just the right recipe to submit. For the open class this year I did a Sour Cream Peach Pecan Pie. But I overcooked it and knew it didn't stand a chance of winning. I mentally smacked myself all the way to the fairgrounds. It got a blue ribbon. For what I like to call The Big Pie Contest I decided on a Blueberry Lime. Adam proclaimed it his new favorite pie and my test group (our small church group) all enjoyed it. I was sure it would place. But apparently the judges didn't like blueberry pie. It also got a blue ribbon. I was so sad and defeated. That's ok, I'm already plotting planning for next year...




My Blueberry Lime Pie. A big fat loser pie, but still extremely delicious.

  We walked around the Bartholomew County Fair for an evening. Abi loooves the fair. The animals, the tractors, a lemon shake-up, a funnel cake and a balloon. What's not to love!?

we had to walk through every building to find where they were giving out the free balloons




Madi in her chariot

 
This year we also hit up the Jackson County Fair. Its a wonderful little fair. Well, it's actually not little at all, which is part of what made it so great. We rode some more rides and checked out the big variety of animals. And of course had another funnel cake and lemon shake-up.



Future Farmers of America??




Abi was pretty fearless, even on the ferris wheel



Abi and her "new friend" for one minute. ha!