Happy New Year! I think I could say this every year, but I can’t believe its 2014 already. We spent an awesome New Year’s Eve with friends celebrating Marci’s 30th birthday. We went to an event hall in Jeffersonville, IN where they had an awesome band, a dj, a photo booth with free food and drinks. Well, not free, but that’s what you got with your ticket. It was super fun and I didn’t realize how much we needed a stress-free evening dancing the night away. It was almost like we didn’t have kids. Ha! Don’t worry, the girls were being appropriately spoiled at MiMi and Papaw’s house. They didn’t miss us. We’ve never gone anywhere before on New Year’s except for someone’s house. It was one for the books.
Since it’s the New Year everyone is talking about resolutions. I looked back to see what my goals were for 2013. We did pretty good. We did get rid of our satellite. I really miss Food Network and Adam really, really misses football. But it has been so worth it. We don't even have a tv downstairs anymore. I only have one goal this year. It’s not really a goal so much as a new mind-set: stop participating in”mom-petition.” I recently read a post from the Momastry Blog about it. If you’re not familiar, you should check her out. She’s great and I wish I remembered to read her more often. In the article, she calls it “mom-petition” - moms constantly comparing each other and competing whether they realize it or not. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I’m really guilty of this. Mostly the comparing myself part. I catch myself doing it all the time. Melted crayon pumpkin on Pinterest: “wow, we just cut out a face.” People posting pictures of taking their kids on fun trips: “when was the last time we even went to open gym??” You’re having quinoa with flax seed and organic free-range chicken for dinner?: “umm….I buy my frozen chicken breasts and rice from aldis.” Friends’ kids doing soccer, preschool, dance, gymnastics, basketball, karate, CMO, MOPS: “are my kids socially deprived already at age 3!?” Someone’s facebook status says they bleached all their floors, organized their cabinets and made 12 healthy freezer meals before lunch: “all I had time to do so far today is get dressed.” Friends discussing how much they love their job: “am I crazy for staying home? Do they think I’m wasting my talents? What could we do with two incomes?”
This is truly something I want to change about myself. And I think it’s going to be hard. I am so quick to do it that I don’t usually even realize it until I already feel bad about myself. And I’m thinking…maybe I’m not the only one? It occurs to me that maybe someone is comparing themselves to me. This makes me laugh because most days I feel like I accomplished 25% of my to-do list and that at least one point in the day I felt like a ‘bad mom.’ And at the end of the day I’m usually so exhausted I can barely find the strength to pour myself a glass of wine. Notice I said barely. But what if all these moms I’m comparing myself to feel the same way at the end of their day? What IF we all have flaws and struggles and unfinished to-do lists. What IF I quit worrying about what everyone else was doing and whether or not my kids are just as well-behaved as other peoples’ kids? What IF I just did the best I could and loved my kids as best I could?
My husband. Among many things, he is my reality check. Just a few days ago we were scrolling through facebook and saw a picture someone posted where they filled their bathtub with snow and let their kid play in it wearing a hat, gloves, etc. I saw it and instantly felt guilty. I thought to myself, “Maybe we should do that? Then they wouldn’t be as cold. Why didn’t I think of that?” Adam saw it and immediately said out loud, “That is so stupid. Why can’t you just play outside?” Bless him.
So here is my mantra for 2014:
You are doing your best.
Everyone else is doing their best too. Even if their best is different than your best.
God gave us all talents to use for his ministries. Your talents and ministry are yours alone.
Everyone has struggles. Despite what they say and post on social media.
God intended your children for you alone. So be you. Not who popular culture says you should be.
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